“You don’t get the relationships you want. You get the relationships you build.”
How would you characterize your “relationships?”
We can divide relationships into important/not important.
We can also divide relationships into satisfying/unsatisfying.
Not important/unsatisfying doesn’t matter.
Important/satisfying relationships give life meaning and leverage. Worth the effort to maintain.
Important/unsatisfying relationships can be the source of discomfort and pain. Worth the effort to change the momentum.
Organizational development expert Tim Kight says that relationships are nurtured through love, respect, humility, and generosity.
Love is a strong word. In this sense, it doesn’t mean romantic. It does mean an “unconditional” high regard for another. We phrase unconditional regard in a number of ways. A leading one is putting “trust in the gap.” A record of teamwork, competence, and support that is mutually shared builds love.
Respect indicates high regard and consideration for the other. When you respect others, you acknowledge effort and competence as it’s displayed. You trust others to do their jobs. You engage them in growth.
Humility and generosity are linked. Humility defers to others when appropriate. Generosity means we share our time, treasure, and talents to build a relationship.
Taking an inventory of relationships is a useful exercise. If you don’t like what you see, it may be time to review your role in making it better.