“Self-control is like a muscle. If you are called upon to exercise self-control often in the course of a day, you get tired and you don’t have enough strength to exercise as much self-control in the evening. But love is the opposite. The more you love, the more you can love. A person who has one child does not love that child less when the second and third child come along. A person who loves his town does not love his country less. Love expands with use.” – David Brooks.

For the last couple of years, I’ve chosen a word of the year to help my process. This year, my word is “abide”. Driven by Jesus, who says, “Abide in me, and I will abide in you. With me you will bear fruit. Without me you won’t.”

My understanding of abiding with Jesus is evolving. My thinking involved abiding meant “hanging with Jesus”. Stay close. Stay in sight of Jesus. Keep him in my view. As long as I can see him and he can see me, I’ll be good.

That’s probably true. But I’m learning it’s not the ideal abiding.

Recently, I heard and read Jon Tyson on the practice of abiding. My summary of the teaching is this: if I’m truly abiding in Jesus, I’m connected to Him. And the connection is primarily the constant flow of love.

So, abiding means a constant connection marked by a life-giving flow of love.

That puts the Brooks quote in context.

If I try to live on my own strength, eventually I’ll become fatigued and lose it. I’ll fall short due to my weakness.

On the other hand, connecting to the love that flows from Jesus assures my power will expand. Mostly because it’s not my power. It’s Jesus’s. And my capacity to love others isn’t to be limited. It will expand. The fruit coming from it will be bountiful.

Are you fatigued? Do you often reach your limit? Do you wish for the fruits of the spirit?

Abide the best way. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control will come your way. A strength that will not falter.